A Letter to Our Inner Child
Dear you,
Are you able to forgive yourself?
Are you able to forgive yourself for every time you settled for less than you deserved? For every time you tried- like an archaologist — to see if the tiniest speck of something carved off a hard piece of dirt could be love? For every time you thought you might need to beg for love? For every time you thought the doubt might kill you? For every time you COULDN’T just accept that even if it seems like someone might have something looking like love — if their actions say something differently it is NOT up to you to convince them of your worth to see if they might really/ truly/this time have a breadcrumb’s worth of love for you.
Are you able to forgive yourself for when you didn’t know how to love yourself just because you are alive? For every time you thought verbalizing your own boundaries might kill you or someone else? for every time you felt that you might need to excavate someone else’s being for love?
Are you able to forgive yourself for every time your thought that love was like plastic wrap that got caught on itself and if you just dug in with your fingernails and moved in just the right way it would finally — this time — stay put —
Are you able to forgive yourself for every time you felt that love wasn’t free? for every time you hid under the covers instead of being alive? for every time you left your values on the nightstand next to your dignity? for every time you felt that if you just just just said the right things or maybe rearranged reality in the right way they would see who you are
Are you able to forgive yourself for feeling desperation deep inside your soul? for needing another person to fill you with their part time possibilities?
Are you able to allow yourself to be what a higher power intended when you were the size of the smallest fruit?
Are you able to forgive yourself for every time you forgot that the hole inside your heart is the only thing you ever need to fill?
